So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
