If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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