While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
