Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
