i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
