I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize