This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
