Already got asked if we're dating
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
