we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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