thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
