i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
