I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
