is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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