Porn is love you can see.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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