Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize