so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
