all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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