You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
