Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize