Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I got inside last night via doggy door
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
