question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize