thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
