What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
