Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
