So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
