i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
