It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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