alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
