Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
