i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
