You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
