Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
