If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize