people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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