hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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