After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
