Christians are straight up FREAKS
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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