I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
