p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
