wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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