I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just had sex bonerless
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
