playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
