This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize