So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
