Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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