I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
