Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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