I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
