why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
