Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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