My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
