I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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