Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
