He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
