just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize