NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
