I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My bed smells like the plague
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