What a fucking waste of an outfit
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
