My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
