It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
