Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You made out with two different species that night
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize