What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
