That's intense
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
