Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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