Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
