mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
