It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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