Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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