Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
