So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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