I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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