hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
