You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
two words...techno handjob
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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