You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
