I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
